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All You Need
to Know [top]
Sunday morning, and I'm anchored to my bed, hey
hey hey
Lord I feel like a thousand angels in my head
are tearing down the wailing wall
I turned over, you were gone, oh no no
If I were Adonis I'd lay twenty-five to one
that you'd leave me
This is all you need to know
this is all you need to know
I dial a pizza, feeling strictly takeaway
Quattro formaggi, it's like four cheeses in one day
and with my sleeve I scrape the remnants
of last night's joie de vivre from the wall
and I guess that's all you need to know
that is all you need to know
and I tell myself it's not exclusive to me
so there's beer stains on my settee
but there'll always be someone else
who's got it worse than me
as long as I've got my health
as long as I surface by twelve
I know I'll always be free
Something tells me this is nowhere near
an ordinary hangover
I feel a poem coming on
I only wish I knew how to right one
I've felt like this for hours and hours
and if I've told you once
I've told you a thousand times
I don't ask for your forgiveness
why should I need your pity?
This is all you need to know
this is all you need to know
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
A Map of the
Shetland Isles/
Breaking Down [top]
Which way round? Opened out like a map of the
Shetland Isles
it's amazing what you learn when you're opened up
and you let the daylight find its way through the cracks
in your head...and when is it my turn?
Felt-tip ouija spelled out a name
Boy ran screaming and he's never been quite the same
oh you should see him, he sits in the market,
smoking, drinking industrial lager
in cast-off boots and a charity parka, we always knew he was rather unstable
if you see him approach him with caution, his body’s shattered
from years of contortion, his mind is aching with nervous exhaustion
and breaking down
yea though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death
with a gun in my hand and a bullet-proof vest I will fear no evil
I’ll fear no evil as long as my angel will protect me
lo, when I seal the seventh seal and my kingdom is revealed
I will see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil
as long as there’s you there to protect me
oh you should see them, all hare-lips and
club-feet on his mother’s
side of the family and the father pushing up daisies
no wonder he turned out a little unstable
if you see him, remember me to him, I feel so guilty to think that I knew him
but when I see him I’m looking straight through him breaking down
was it something I did? was it something I
said?
you’ve got to live his happiness if you want to keep your head
he’s the scourge of the street, he’s the talk of the town
you can sit with me in the market and watch him breaking down
oh sometimes something triggers him off and he’s back in the classroom
and there’s still the same stains on his trousers
sometimes he has a way of staring like he’s dreamt about you
many many many nights before
it’s more than I can take, it’s more than I can take
somebody stop me before I lose control, before
he makes me
fill the hole in his soul just for the hell of it
somebody stop me before I shed my skin, I could take him
under my wing but for the smell of it
oh you should see them, all hare-lips and
club-feet on his mother’s
side of the family and the father pushing up daisies
no wonder he turned out a little unstable
if you see him, remember me to him, I feel so guilty to think that I knew him
but when I see him I’m looking straight through him breaking down
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
In Your Town
Tonight [top]
In your town tonight, back by popular demand
the man you love to hate, the terror of the ladies
to divert you and delight you
will perform a one-night stand
another catch, another match made in Hades
and in your town tonight
a man we shall not name
has no idea who's comatose in bed with him
he's tired of the deceit
he's tiring of the shame
his head screams like the blitz
he's feeling dead with in...
I've been lying on my bed for a year and a day
listening to the radio and turning grey
I've been kicking around in the dirt of my brain
peering through the curtains at the pouring rain
I need something in life to excite me now, delight me now
I think I'm getting to know what it is
to have seen it all before
in your town tonight
she's in your town tonight and she'd love to
run away
she'd love to flee the darkness all around her
the streets she stalks by night
she'd love to stroll by day
and flee the squalid details that surround her
I've been minding my business - is that a
crime?
I've been sitting in the dark just killing time
it's time that kills us, for better or worse
I thought I'd jump the queue and get the knife in first
I need something in life to excite me now, delight me now
I think I'm getting to know what it is
to have seen it all before
in your town tonight
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1995. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Little
Patterns [top]
Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here in the
corner, I won’t cause any trouble
it’s fine by me but don’t say I didn’t warn you, I don’t want any
trouble
no I will not say a word ’cause like a
migrating bird
I am perfectly prepared just to follow the herd
I’ve dug myself in too deep – somebody pass me a shovel
no I do not give a damn, don’t give a damn
who I am
I’ll be your lost little lamb, I’ll be your conquering ram
all these images of sheep are gonna get me in trouble
So call me crazy if it helps, I’d call it
love and nothing else
we keep our stray thoughts to ourselves and no-one gets hurt
these little patterns drive me mad, and all the freaked-out dreams I’ve had
now all of this just makes it worse
Welcome to the land of the good and the free
where no depression can defeat you
and as you swim the cobalt blue sea the bottom rises up to meet you
if I don’t hunt with the pack, if I just sit at the back
with my potato-style snack and my damp anorak
does that really mean I am forbidden to join you?
call me irresponsible, as if a word can change
it all
I’ll watch the sunbeams fall making little patterns on the wall
I don’t know what they mean – there’s so much I wish I knew
So call me crazy if it helps, I’d call it
love and nothing else
we keep our stray thoughts to ourselves and no-one gets hurt
these little patterns drive me mad, and all the freaked-out dreams I’ve had
now all of this just makes it worse
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1999. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
My Day [top]
When I get older I want what everyone else
wants
I want them to know me in all the very best restaurants
I want my seat by the window – well tell them to move out of my place
I wanna drink endless Manhattans in wreaths of cigar smoke
and throw the butts in the fireplace
but cometh the hour, cometh the man and I can
pay
but still I’ll turn to the waiter and say
This would never have happened in my day, I say
young man, I say
This would never have happened in my day, I say young man, I say
When I get older I wanna keep up with the
Joneses
I wanna be seen to be coping in my cocoon of neurosis
I wanna be loathed and respected, I wanna be cool and connected
I wanna be all things to all men, even to Mr and Mrs Jones
I’ll bail you out, I’ll buy you all out,
but that’s okay
I can smile sweetly as I say
This would never have happened in my day, hey
Mr Jones I say
This would never have happened in my day, hey Mrs Jones I say
Where would I place myself on a scale of one to
invincible?
I couldn’t face myself if I met me in a crowded room
Don’t want a revolution but I’ll make up
the numbers if you wanna play
because come the revolution you’ll all be queuing up to blow me away
but with my back to the wall I’ll still be
lord of all that I survey
I’ll put my hand on my heart and I’ll say
This would never have happened in my day, I say
young man, I say
This would never have happened in my day, I say young man, I say
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Suburban
Road Movie Song [top]
There's no ties here to bind us
no lump-in-throat reminders
like in the lounge lothario's song
I've got a boat moored in the harbour
we could pack our bags and scarper
before you can say Mrs Robinson
and if we steal and we beg and we borrow
we could be in Amsterdam tomorrow
we could be in Mexico next week
with nothing in our suitcase
but a tube of hardened toothpaste
talking in a language we don't speak
I'd dive from the mountain into the ocean
to save you from drowning
I'd take the low road to keep you
from the monsters of the loch
would you follow me if I got in trouble
all the way to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwll-
llantysilliogogogoch?
I can shout a little louder than I talk
run a little faster than I walk
is that what ambition means?
Maybe I should set my sights a little higher
maybe if I had an amplifier
and one of those conveyor belt machines
I could move mountains
but tell me, why the hell would I wanna do that
baby when the mountain is supposed to come to me?
I've already told you
what I wanna do when I get older
but baby while we're waiting
we can still run free...
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2000. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
The Final
Countdown [top]
So from now on I'm staying in
I've got no reason to go out much
I've got a deep-freeze full of meals
I've got a bin-bag full of fag-butts
but it's 15 to 1 that I'll be singing the blues
when you come around
no no no no no no, if you come around
I guess I’ll always be one from the top
and any other five you choose
but I’ll stand my ground no no no no no no
till you come around
I don’t mind being on my own
I like to watch a lot of quiz shows
I like Richard, he’s my friend
I wish I knew half the stuff that he knows
but if he ever lets me down like all the rest I’ll
understand
no no no no no no I’ll understand
my heroes fail me when I put them to the test
and he’s a busy man no no no no no no
such a busy man
and the lord of book and bell
he can read my troubled mind
putting words of wisdom in my mouth
and if he really knows me like he seems to
he’s got a funny way of showing it
I only wish that he would put himself out
and when the sands of time run out I know what
I must do
I’ve got a plan no no no no no no I’ve got a plan
I’m gonna miss you Carol, you’ve got brains and beauty too
but you’ll understand no no no no no no
you’ll understand
it’s another mid-week mid-afternoon
and I’m a lonely man
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2000. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Very Rock
& Roll [top]
I can't stop thinking about you
I can't get my kicks without you
I know it's not often enough that I tell you
oh you really knock me out babe
you make me want to scream and shout
but I don't want to waste my breath so I won't tell you
And if you say that again I'm gonna have to
slap you
it's a shame to slap your pretty face
you've got a pretty face when your gob's shut
but for the criminally insane
every hour is happy hour
and I need to occupy my mind
in the stretch of time when the pub's shut
And so I brought her to her knees
I'm not saying I'm proud of it
we were having such a blazing row
and I can't allow her to beat me
she gives as good as she receives
she knocks me about a bit
but I'll be waiting at her door before
she can say any more to entreat me
falling and screaming
it's very very very rock & roll
and I can keep it under control
oh you really knock me out babe
you make me want to scream and shout
but I don't want to draw attention to myself
and he'll never stray too far
if he knows what's good for him
cause he's quite the perfect gentleman
and his manners know no dominion
he says it's just a sha-la-la-la-la
it doesn't mean a thing
a bit of fun to fill the void that lurks
between the waterworks and oblivion
bawling and dreaming
it's very very very rock & roll
and I can keep it under control
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2000. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
The Longest
Hour [top]
Though the rest of my life may be soaked and
drowned
this will be my refuge from the storm
to keep me warm and dry whenever I hear the rain come down
through the longest hour
though the rest of my life may be a barren
ground
this will be the seed that yields the flower
and I’ve got nothing on my mind
I’m only wondering how I’m gonna get out of here
it’s been the longest hour
if I’m winding down woodland highways
with the sun-strobe making me sneeze
if I’m peering down mile-long driveways
through the gaps in the trees
it’s cause I’ve got to get out and do something
I’ve got to feel the shock of the new
it’s the prospect of spending a month in
the country without you
but I’m still watching you, especially you
all through the longest hour
just like you I’m waiting for the bell
to toll the longest hour
and I’ve got nothing on my mind
I’m only wondering how I’m gonna get out of here
it’s been the longest hour
you can sow me, grow me, mow me down to my
roots
but I'll come up in my own sweet time
and if you can't wait to taste it darling
pluck the fruits from off my vine
but I’m still watching you, especially you
all through the longest hour
just like you I’m waiting for the bell
to toll the longest hour
and I’ve got nothing on my mind
I’m only wondering how I’m gonna get out of here
it’s been the longest hour
the beaten track is hard to follow
the bittersweet is hard to swallow
don't ever say you're better off alone
dig me deep and drain me shallow
plough me up and lay me fallow
but never say you're better off alone
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2001. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Me and
How I React to Situations [top]
That was nothing like me
she's not the kind of girl I go for
what was I doing on her sofa?
putting my restraint to the test?
and when I couldn't shake free
when I was feeling kind of sheepish
she pulled a bank-roll from her cleavage
she said 'I'm glad to get that off my chest'
she said 'you think I'm so flash
well if we're going to play Monopoly
for heaven's sake let's do it properly
she counted out £1500
well I don't carry much cash
she said 'my darling you're so bourgeois'
I said 'I'm not,' she said 'of course you are
you just don't like the way that sounds
then something went to my head
it went straight to my head
that's when I should have fled
but I was hooked instead
something went to my head
as she was cleaning me out
she looked so laid-back and laissez faire
she had a hotel parked on Mayfair
and she chased me down the Old Kent Road
well I was racked with self-doubt
cause while she drained the horn of plenty
my pockets never felt this empty
well I had to reap what I had sowed
that's when she went to my head
she went straight to my head
she bit the hand that fed
oh, the tears that I shed
when she went straight to my head
we spoke of rejection and suicide
all my objections like her clothes she threw aside
and suddenly she's steaming
and I'm dreaming dreams of necromancy
then I saw my chance...
well take a leaf from my book
if things get fractious with your Fraülein
a stockinged pool-ball to the jawline
can help you gain the upper hand
this was the bargain I struck
I grabbed a bag while she lay sleeping
I bagged up everything worth keeping
and I stashed it in the back of my van
then something went to my head
a rush of blood to my head
just before I fled
I put a match to her bed
yeah something went to my head
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2001. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
This is the
Life [top]
Let it all fall, bring it all down, ’cause he’s
going nowhere
I’ll string him up if you hold him down, he ain’t going nowhere
he wants to be wanted, well he has to be hunted
and it cuts to the quick but you’ll know as soon as he comes round
I ran into the street when I heard you scream,
I thought it was serious
just post-modern angst, you were letting off steam
and I thought you were serious
it’s something you’ll take up when you start wearing make-up
and it cuts to the quick but you can turn it off whenever you choose
This is better than pain
I wish to God it would rain
and wash away all the dreams in the flood
in the streams in the mud all around you
I’ll catch my death on my own
I wish to God she would phone
but she’s still there in my clothes and my hair
and I’m supposed not to care for a day or two
This is the life, the time of your life
Did you see the news, that bit about you or
someone just like you?
dredged up from the Thames, he thought he could fly
and he looked something like you
and if you’re all so clever, how come you never knew
he was cut to the quick but he still had several up on you
This is better than pain
I wish to God it would rain
and wash away all the dreams in the flood
in the streams in the mud all around you
I’ll catch my death on my own
I wish to God she would phone
but she’s still there in my clothes and my hair
and I’m supposed not to care for a day or two
This is the life, the time of your life
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998/2002. All
rights reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Immune [top]
Put you in quarantine for six months
lock up and throw away the key
I know you'll put up no resistance
though you're immune to this disease
but staring through the bars on your window
everybody starts to look the same
and you're immune to other people's music
you're immune
nothing's gonna touch you again
I know one day you'll come to thank me
it's not as lonely as it seems
and you've got time for contemplation
of what it's all about
and other useless themes
but staring through the bars on your window
everything's so very very small
and you're immune to other people's music
you're immune
no-one's gonna touch you at all
don't force it
don't push your luck
my son
but staring through the bars on your window
I struggle to see anything at all
and you're immune to other people's music
you're immune
nothing's gonna touch you at all
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Einstein's Diner [top]
You insist you were merely on the rebound
the goal somebody failed to score
dumb eyes kissed across the party's babbling smoke-screen
I saw yours roll towards the door
I watched you pout
as you cat-walked out
I thought wherever she's slinking off
I've got to find her
I got on with you
I got off with you
I got down with you
but you never stood me lunch
at Einstein's Diner
You don't talk much
'I let my body do the talking'
I bet you'd said those words before
it was such an effort making conversation
but that's not what you were looking for
I'd had my fill
of clichéville
when those tired sweet nothings
fell like broken china
I got on with you
I got off with you
I got down with you
but you never stood me lunch
at Einstein's Diner
At Einstein's Diner
every Friday the bona fide clientele
crowd round and pound the merry hell
out of the beige formica table tops
don't think I want to take a liberty
there's more to life than relativity
but it's nice to have something to say
when the music stops...
You fell shtum - don't pretend that you were
tongue-tied
you just ran out of pillow talk
you left the room
you left that heavy silence hanging
by a glacé cherry stalk
and your lame excuse
was the worst abuse
but for all your faults
I'd never seen you looking finer
I got on with you
I got off with you
I got down with you
but you never stood me lunch
at Einstein's Diner
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Really Long Hair [top]
I didn’t want to be hampered by the pressure
of what I seemed to be
I didn’t want to be hampered by the badge I used to carry round with me
I like the good life, it suits me baby but I
find the balance so hard to strike
I think you invented my beauty baby
I don’t know much about elegance but I know what I like
I used to have really really long hair, I never
used to be like this
I used to have really really long hair, you’re not gonna like this…
I just want to be pampered, I want to feel your
fingers running through my hair
I just want to be pampered, I want to help myself to your stuff
when you’re not there
I’m clinging fast to the line I’ve
practised
suddenly my eloquence is not what it’s been
and I feel like John the Baptist
I don’t know much about the Bible but I know what I mean
I used to have really really long hair, I never
used to be like this
I used to have really really long hair, you’re not gonna like this…
I didn’t want to be hampered, didn’t want
to meet all those jerks I know I should
I just want to be pampered, and it feels good
don’t get me wrong, it feels so good
I used to have really really long hair, I never
used to be like this
I used to have really really long hair, you’re not gonna like this
but I used to have really long hair
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1998. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
All Of You [top]
I wanted to see you
how was I to know that we'd have company?
I find it hard to believe you
I bed down with one of my girls
and I wake up with somebody else
but when will you get it into your head
that I love you
all of you
when will you get it into your head?
cause you're once, cause your twice
cause you're three times my lady
is it part of some sexual mystique
or an innate schizophrenic streak?
I don't know but I hope you get it into your
head
that I love you
all of you
when will you get it into your head?
I'm taking it in my stride
I'm puckering up inside
I've got all the perks of the co-habitee
divided and multiplied
I've got someone to watch over me
someone to stoop low for me
someone who'll go for me
I've got one to look after me
one to look up to me
one to make love to me
and when will you get it into your head
that I love you
all of you
when will you get it into your head?
if you ever change you mind I'll pick up the
pieces you left behind
but I hope we can work this through
cause it's so much fun loving all of you
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2002. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
The Other Side of Down [top]
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one
who knows what's going on round here
sometimes I feel a little misunderstood
there's nothing wrong with that
so you think you've got problems son?
well we've all got f*cking problems
you wanna hear about my problems?
I didn't think so, no no no
I'd really love to help you son
but I've got my reputation to think of
this ship is beginning to sink
and I'm a dirty rat, I know, I know
time to wake up, time to make a stand
if you want a lift up you can give me your hand
if you wanna sing along you can join the band
we're just One Big Happy Family Scam
I said hey, hey, hey, hey
you're gonna have to learn to do things my way
cause there's a lot of people waiting to kick at you
on the way down
but we're not coming down because
every man must build a wall up
to keep him safe from light and sound
when I get through this I'll call up
from the other side of down
keep the van running and you wait outside
just keep the van running and ready to drive
if I'm not down in twenty-five
you tell the world I didn't make it alive
I said hey, hey, hey, hey
you're gonna have to learn to do things my way
cause there's a lot of people waiting to kick at you
on the way down
but we're not coming down because
every man must build a wall up
to keep him safe from light and sound
when I get through this I'll call up
from the other side of down
every man must build a wall up
to keep him safe from light and sound
and when I get back home to your love
I'll be the other side of down
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2002. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Don't Get Burned [top]
I've got so much light inside of me
sometimes I think I've got to
turn out all the lamps and let it shine
but I don't know what I'm expecting to find
from time to time
I've got so much fire inside of me
sometimes I think I've got to
dampen down the flames before I bust
before I spontaneously combust
from dust to dust
I'm on a short fuse
I could sure use a little kindling
any tender loving kerosene about?
you wanna be careful that you don't get burned
when you get too close to me
cause when you get too close to me
you'll never put me out
that's why I like it when the heat is on
I like the feeling as the salamanders
creep across my skin
that's when the palpitations really begin
when the heat kicks in
pass me the light
I'm stoking up a blaze for you
cause baby where there's smoke
there must be fire
I'm the guy
on the towering inferno
I need a rain of fire
to quench this drought
you wanna be careful that you don't get burned
when you get too close to me
cause when you get too close to me
you'll never put me out
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2002. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Why Do I Do This? [top]
I've got to try harder
I get excited and I make mistakes
for a little whiff of how's-your-father
I get myself into all kinds of scrapes
last night I met a girl downtown
said she had a place out west
and at the drop of a hat
I was there at her flat
and I'd memorised the address
why do I do this?
just to spread a little love around
why do I always do this?
they pick me up and then they let me down
why do I do this?
just to spread my love around?
I guess I missed the last bus home
timed it to perfection again
and at the drop of her dress
I'm prepared to confess
this was all part of the bargain
why do I do this?
just to spread a little love around
why do I always do this?
they pick me up and then they let me down
why do I do this?
just to spread a little more of my love around?
why do I do this?
man it's bringing me down...
© Copyright Nick Kelley 2003. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
I Couldn't Be More Pleased [top]
So you've finally grown up
you've lengthened your skirts and you've hennaed your peroxide
you had it all sewn up
it was one of life's certainties
he seems pretty serious
well he's bought a little love-nest down at the dockside
hey nonny-no, I'm delirious, I tell you
I couldn't be more pleased
and is this forever
or just one more peccadillo
before you settle down to the real brass tacks?
like those last fleeting moments
with the blanket and the pillow
before you crawl out of bed
and drag yourself down to breakfast
it's becoming an obsession
it's becoming a disease
but it's coming up roses
and I couldn't be more pleased
I couldn't be more pleased
everything's turned out just as you planned
and I couldn't be more pleased
did he press your sweating hand?
did you go down on bended knees?
we all tried our best to please you
and now I couldn't be more pleased
if I was done over the mafia way
I couldn't be more pleased
if I needed Dutch courage to get me through the day
I couldn't be more pleased
if I was shipwrecked on a desolate shore
I couldn't be more pleased
if I had to press the button to start the third world war
I couldn't be more pleased
I couldn't be more pleased
this used to be your Shangri-la
we were brown-nosed valkyries in your very own Valhalla
it was all first person singular
we were just grazes on the queen bee's knees
now your butterfly past is hushed up
(well you know what they say about discretion and valour)
and if it ever gets washed up I tell you
I couldn't be more pleased
you've got your head in cloud nine cuckoo land
and you're standing tiptoe on the windswept sand
you can feel the sand running through your hands
and pretty soon you'll find
that when you get right down to the dirty business
it's no use praying for mercy and forgiveness
cause love like Christmas works best in the mind
it's becoming an obsession
it's becoming a disease
you've got the symptoms
and I couldn't be more pleased
I couldn't be more pleased
everything's turned out just as you planned
and I couldn't be more pleased
did he press your sweating hand?
did you go down on bended knees?
though sometimes your fools would tease you
we all tried our best to please you
now you're one man's little bijou
and I couldn't be more pleased
© Copyright Nick Kelley 1996. All rights
reserved.
These lyrics may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
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